Daddy Says is an online resource for the community of fathers taking an active role in children’s lives. Parenting from a father’s point of view. Daddy Says was launched on March 10, 2010.
About the Author:
It has taken over a year to admit it, but I’m ready. I can’t explain exactly why it has taken so long. Was it the social stigma or the blur of confusion that children add to everyday life? Pride? Machismo? I’m not sure. But I am ready regardless. Deep breath…Hello all, I am a Stay at Home Dad.
Maybe it was my past that made it so difficult. In the years B.C., (before children), I’d been a park ranger in the Arizona deserts, the front man in a couple rock bands, a bachelor until nearly forty. I followed the Grateful Dead selling bagels for gas money during college summer break. I backpacked from Mexico to Utah in one straight shot. I never wanted a dog because they couldn’t fend for themselves. Children were nowhere near my radar.
Now, I wasn’t a complete noob when it came to children. I’d seen plenty. In fact I was quite fond of them. During my career as a Director of Health, Safety, and Youth Services with the American Red Cross, I had the most current concerns of parents and society come across my desk. Nutrition, bullying & peer pressure, lifeguarding & swim lessons, immunizations, CPR and school safety were part of my daily life. I was even known to get out there and teach a babysitting training course on occasion, demonstrating my diapering skills to a group of twelve year old girls. But my own kids? Well that my friends, was completely different.
For the first year I wouldn’t admit I was a Stay at Home Dad. Despite all the positive comments and car horns honking while pushing the double-wide stroller, I continued to deny it. Strangers and friends alike would say, “It’s so great what you’re doing!” and I would get irritated. Being called “Mr. Mom” sent me into a tirade. I felt, (and still do), that I was sharing the parenting responsibilities with my wife. I had no idea that much of the world’s view on parenting was so lop-sided toward the mother.
I have learned to accept my new job description. I was never personally embarrassed by my role. I don’t consider parenting a gender based job. I think it is what you have to give up in the trade that affected me. Man or woman, the first truth is that you have to give up a bit of yourself. There are few pats on the back for diaper changes and no opportunity for promotion. Instead it has to be treated like a construction project. It is only when you realize that you are building something from the ground up that it begins to make sense.
So, I am a stay at home dad that happens to write a little on the side. It is an opportunity to experience something that most men don’t. It is a chance to examine what mothers have told us for years and tell it from a male perspective. Certainly Hollywood has cast us as incompetent. But is it really the hardest job you’ll ever have? Does the reward match up to having a career? What does the outside world think about a man stepping into this role? Are we built for this? Let’s find out.
-Greg
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