Most traditionalists believe a stay-at-home dad confuses gender roles by children witnessing their father perform “motherly” acts such as cooking or changing diapers. In our defense, I present exhibit one: The opening of my 3 year old boys’ first chop shop. Sniff, sniff. Why must I always get so darn emotional at these things?

VH1 has put out some pretty interesting reality television over the past few years, taking on premises the big three networks wouldn’t dare touch.  Starting with their campy guilty pleasure The Surreal Life, where former stars spent a couple weeks together getting drunk and naked,  the occasional music video channel now has 21 “celebreality” shows on its books. They cover everything from finding the right thong-clad girl for the entire list of D-List stars, to the more serious Celebrity Rehab documenting the addiction struggles of recognizable faces. Now they are entering our territory.

Expectant deadbeat dads will learn respect for parenting from challenges like changing dirty diapers and strapping on the weighted pregnancy suit, (sold exclusively at reality show boutiques.) At the end of the series their female partners will decide if the father is fit to remain a part of their child’s life or if the mother will raise the child as a single parent. Jeff Olde of VH1′s Original Programming and Production says, “We’re really proud of VH1 Dad Camp because it shows a group of unprepared fathers-to-be how to embrace their looming responsibilities while also reminding viewers in general that parenthood is something to be taken seriously by both parents.”

I’m all for anything encouraging men to step up and do what they need to balance parenting, but this seems like another scared-straight show encouraging birth control for men not ready for children. Of the few clips I’ve seen, the footage is fathers overwhelmed and arguing with their partners. I’m concerned it will be another portrayal of fathers as incompetent caregivers. Good fathers are not made from empathy for their wife’s plight or a fearlessness of dirty diapers. It’s by recognizing and experiencing the rewards we’re given from being active fathers. For me, that’s key to understanding. I hope the show can explore the value a father brings to a child’s life and the difficulty, male or female, of being a single parent. I also hope the men can learn the joys of being a father rather than solely the responsibility.

Now the ending is wrong for a whole other reason. No matter how big an a-hole the show makes the father out to be, he still deserves rights to see their child and grow as a parent.  I guess we should be grateful. At least no dads get voted off until the end.

VH1 Dad Camp premieres Monday, May 31 on VH1 at 10PM. EST.

What happens in a stay at home dad’s world during nap time? I’ve read about plenty of moms jumping on hobbies like quilting, stitching or scrapbook projects. Just take a look at the supermarket magazine racks and you’ll see no less than ten publications dedicated to these subjects. But what about us? How are we spending those precious hours? Besides cleaning, there’s always diversions like video games available. But are we doing anything productive that gets our male chi re-centered?

The criteria for our best nap-time projects are pretty basic. We need to stay within earshot of our children, the activity has to be quiet, and it must remain manly enough illicit a caveman grunt. “Me Time” as the mothers would call it, but with testosterone mixed in. The best choices for us will be both necessary tasks around the house and completable. Parenting doesn’t give us too many finite projects or short-term goals. Potty training is a great goal but is hardly like crossing a finish line. No one blinks when their child switches from creamed food to solid. No, parenting is more about transitions. That’s why I believe that part of male parenting is supplementing these transition goals with some of our own, “Would You Look at That!” moments.

The stay at home dad (SAHD) nap time projects should have reachable goals and be interrupt-able by the unexpected.   Many of us have a cadre of skills our female partners may not. That stereotypical guy stuff like lifting heavy objects or working on the car. If you don’t have the skills, your time as a stay-at-home dad is a great time to learn.  On weekends, classes are available at many national and local hardware stores to teach the basic skills of carpentry, electrical work, gardening, and others. Check out their schedule online or the next time you pick up some nuts and bolts.

Here’s some project ideas with links to guide you through.

Oil Change: Just slip into some old clothes and then under the car. This is a cost saving skill you can definitely knock out yourself. Auto parts stores have made it even easier by offering free recycling of your old oil. How to do an oil change.

Gardening: Nothing makes you prouder than growing your own food. Try growing a salsa garden with cilantro, tomatoes, jalapeno peppers, and onions. Make a salsa garden.

Become an Architect: There are endless possibilities for organization projects. Toy boxes, garages, attics, closets bedrooms all need to be pushed to the max when kids are in the equation. Use this time to draw out plans for shelving and other weekend projects.

Make a Movie: Get down with your techie self. This is a great time to download and organize all those pictures and videos. Experiment with editing software that can help you snip those virtual reels of video into a final cut. A video camera like the Flip Video HD comes with editing software built in, or choose a stand-alone program like Corel’s Digital Studio 2010.

Shop Talk: Peg board goes a long way in the garage to help organize your tools. One tip is to trace an outline around your tools with a permanent marker so you know exactly where everything goes and what’s missing at a glance. Build a Pegboard Rack.

Seasonal Business: Pull the cars out and start organizing your summer garage sale. Here’s some tips on getting rid of garage clutter from the Do It Yourself Network.

Paint the Walls: Mothers will scrub all day long, but the quickest way to deal with crayon marks  is to  grab the matching wall latex and a mini paint roller. Still have holes in the wall from artwork raised during baby-proofing? Grab some quick-dry spackling paste and put it on a few minutes before painting.

When we think things are complicated here, sometimes it is good to take a look at how fathers handle things around the world. On Tuesday, against his wishes, a father was ordered to take custody of his six-year old son. The Federal Supreme Court in Abu Dhabi,  capital of the United Arab Emirates,  placed the order for the man to accept fatherhood. The court also ordered the man to get a passport, ID card and heath card issued for the child at his own expense.

The mother lost custody of their son due to her choice to marry a foreigner, apparently making her legally ineligible to raise a child in the Arab Emirates. She filed a lawsuit insisting that her ex-husband and father of the child should take over parenting duties.  Before the Federal Supreme Court, the father argued that it was unconstitutional for him to care for a child that he didn’t recognize as his own. He said the child was a result of an illicit affair, therefore the verdict should be overturned.

Not an illicit affair with someone else, mind you. An illicit affair that the mother had with him before they were married. He confirmed that the child was conceived during a sexual relationship between the two, but because they weren’t married at the time it didn’t count. The court replied that their sins were not the child’s and that he was going to have to accept fatherhood.

I’m not sure what is worse here. That a mother is not allowed to raise her child when married to a foreigner? Or that her lawsuit wasn’t to keep her son, but rather to force the unwilling father to take custody? Or a father that fights all the way to the Supreme Court to deny the legitimacy of his own child. This young boy has to deal with two parents professing they don’t want him around. Yuck. If you ever wanted to raise a messed up kid here’s your blueprint.

If you haven’t heard, 2010 is the Year of the Father. Okay, maybe not officially, but there is a push this year for dads to step up and do their part in a big way. The absentee father is rightfully under siege. President Obama has joined the campaign speaking on the issue. He said, “Fathers are our first teachers and coaches. They’re our mentors. They’re our role models. They set an example of success, and they push us to succeed, encourage us when we’re struggling, and they love us even when we disappoint them, and they stand by us when nobody else will.”

The National Ad Council is putting out some great service announcements commercials to help encourage fathers to take a more active role in their children’s lives. These commercials apply to divorced and single fathers as well. Check out the video below and keep up the good work, Dads!